Guess who’s back..back again?

Shady’s back, tell yo fraaansssss.

I took a brief hiatus from the dating app world because I thought I found a couple of winners. Boy, was I wrong.

Dude 1: Candelabra (name changed) was quite a cutie, who is a chef, liked to laugh and was a little charmer. I was like…ehhh wtf, let’s play. When we met, I had just started a new job  and a week in, was feeling a little stressed. We had planned to meet on a Thursday but Monday rolled around and I thought, let’s see if he might be down for a drink. HE WAS (YAASSS!). We chose a bar near me, Blue Line, and as soon as I walked in I knew he would be trouble…good or bad, that was still tbd.

As I sat down at the bar, I had noticed that there was a shot glass in front of him. I thought mayyybee it could be a leftover from the previous patron but my gut was telling me he needed it to calm him nerves. Whatever, sometimes I take a quick drink at home before a date. I looked past it and tried to find out more about him.

—-I should probably precursor this date a little bit, since we matched on Tinder, he could see our mutual friends. Homeboy is mutual friends with one of my closest friends’ sister, Furfur (name changed). I asked how they knew each other and he said they were “tight butthole” (whatever the fuck that means), and that they knew each other from way back. He apparently helped her purchase special beer for her boyfriend because the bf is a big craft beer fan. Candelabra also said he talked to Furfur on a regular basis. I immediately felt at ease because I knew I could ask my friend or Furfur about him later. We also had two other mutual friends, both sorority Sisters. This will be important later—-

As we sat there, all he kept talking about were the chefs and restaurant managers he was friends with. Impressive on a first date with me because let’s face it, I’M A FAT KID and food is definitely the way to my heart. After a couple of drinks, he took me to Furious Spoon where he knew the chef. We got some free noodles and ONE free beer (because he only got himself one), and then he ended up splitting it with me. I was kind of a bit weary at this point, don’t ask me why. Then we went to a couple more bars, drank, laughed, and got a littleeeee tipsy!

Then he walked me halfway home, and I jumped on him and kissed him. Kiss was meh, but that was fun. We ended up talking everyday for awhile until I asked him about Furfur again, and his story had changed. Now he had only met her once and they only talked a few times. Now, I bet you’re wondering if I asked Furfur about Candelabra.

 

Furfur said that he found her on LinkedIn, chatted on there a bit. She did ask him about beers for her boyfriend. He then friended her on Facebook and they have been friends ever since. They have NEVER met. She also says he has yellow fever….great. I hate that.

I confronted him again about it after hearing this side of the story and he changed his story a third time. “Oh yeah, we met on LinkedIn…or Facebook. I cant remember.” So of course I asked him how he knew my two Sorority Sisters. Apparently one, named Brown went to college with him (I don’t know if this is true or not, but Candelabra referenced her current boyfriend by full name, info that is not accessible on social media) and the other, named Shoey, said, “because he was mutual friends with Brown, I thought he was a friend of the sorority so I just accepted him. We’ve never talked, and never met.” When I asked Candelabra about Shoey, he said he met her on a college campus and they became friends……This is all getting really really shady.

On to date number 3: homeboy invited me over for some homecooked scallops. Score! I had just come over after a networking event where I was a liiitttllle drunk, and told him I was having fun with him (lies). He then started talking about eggs (because he couldn’t ever let the topic be about us or me), and how you’re supposed to add water to scrambled eggs if you want them fluffier. Cool story, bro. I already knew that. Upon me telling him that I knew about the fluffy egg trick, he grabbed a banana and said, “I know this is normally a 3 month salary but this is all I have….[got down on one knee] will you marry me?”

That’s a joke right? NOPE. He legit wanted to marry me. On numerous times (the month that we dated), he brought up marriage. Oh, and he offered me keys to his apartment. Dude, I DON’T EVEN KNOW YOUR MIDDLE NAME.

Part of me wishes this was just some made up story to entice you to come back and read about my satirical life, but this is real life folks.

I’m going to fast forward to three more important parts to why this wouldn’t have worked out. I realize that I should have run far, far away after the above happened but I am what you call an “emotional cutter,” where you enjoy opening emotional wounds to feel or deal with odd pain? I kind of like drama.

1/3: My birthday rolled around. I went out to dinner with my family and two of my best friends.Candelabra asked what time I was going to be done with dinner, and I said probably around 9-ish, but don’t wait for me. I will text you when I’m close to being done and we can meet up! No joke, 9:01p rolls around and homeboy is texting me asking where I am. DINNER, you douche. I wasn’t even looking at my phone, I was just enjoying my birthday dinner and then responded when I could. It turns out that he was waiting at a bar near my apartment for me. I finally stroll up to the bar at 10-10:15 and the first thing he says to me is, “there’s a group of bikers that wanted me to go with them but I said no because I said I would meet you here.” Joke? Nah. So I responded with, “you legit were considering leaving me for a group of bikers? Man, you should go then.” He laughed, and chucked…nah, I choose you. He was kind of drunk. So again, I asked him how he knew Shoey, and he finally said, he saw her on campus once, memorized her face and found her on Facebook (creepyyy). I was done, if he lies about how he knows people…what the hell else is he lying about? I walked outside, said I couldn’t do this anymore and walked away. About 3 minutes later, I hear heavyyyyy footsteps. Ugh, what?

2/3: He ran up to me with clunky, dramatic footsteps and out of breath said…”I….never…run…after….any….one.” Apparently you never run, at all. You’re out of breath with a 20 meter run…good lawd. “Can…we…please…..gasp…make…this…work. I just…..want…one….more…chance.” UGH, FINE. ONE MORE CHANCE. The next morning, I told him to leave and never talked to him again.

3/3: Sex. Yes, we had it…sort of. We were laying in his bed, and things started to get a little heated. We finally go to have sex, insert dick, and he just stopped. Started looking around and then laid on top of me. I asked if he came, and he said no. Then he pulled out, walked away…and I was like…WTF. That’s gotta make you feel insecure right? Apparently, he was thinking about his DUI while we were having sex.

There’s so many more stories, but I think this sufficiently explains why I decided to be get off the apps and be single for awhile.

Next up: Dude 2.

Stay tuned, dudes and dudettes ❤

Let’s play catch (up)

Holy batman, I’m super behind on my dating stories. I have plenty to catch y’all up with, and then I will write blogs more often for the dates that occured from November until now…sooo, for now, here are the updates on the men aforementioned in this blog.

CHUCK: dead. beyond dead. Soooo here’s how that all went down. Right around the end of  December, he randomly texted me and we chatted for a good half hour. Then he asked me out to drinks later that day. I ended up meeting up with him and his friend at a BBQ joint where they were prett tipsy from day drinking. We traveled to another bar, where more of his friends met up. We all were drinking and having a good time until people slowly started to trickle out. Chuck, his friend Tom and I went back to Chuck’s place to drink a bit and then went out dancing more. We had an amazing time and all Tom kept bringing up was how perfect we were together…and that Chuck had finally met his match. It made me sad to hear that because I really liked this kid. I wasn’t expecting a relationship, but I would have liked to hang out more frequently than we had in the past. Anyway, we finally all went back to Chuck’s house where I slept in his bed and Tom slept on the couch.

In the morning, Tom asked if we wanted to get brunch (hell yes!). We went out, ate like kings, Chuck paid for my breakfast and then Tom dropped us back off to Chuck’s place. I ended up hanging out at Chuck’s place all day, where we watched TV, napped, had the sexy time. It was amazing. I then left because I had to go to work. Then, just a couple days later we met up again for drinks with his buddies and he came home with me. That night, I asked if he wanted to be my date to a black tie gala the night before NYE. He excitedly agreed and I was pumped that we would finally have plans together that didn’t involve meeting each other at a dive bar. At last, the week of NYE rolls around and I asked him on Monday if we was still in to go to the gala and he said no. I should have known better….Until that night rolled around and he asked what I was doing. I said, “going to the ball I asked you to go to.” He said, “OH SHIT! Why didn’t you remind me?” I said, “I did.” To which he replied, “I blame traveling for the holidays but call me when you’re done tonight and we will hook up.” We ended up meeting up at a bar, and he invited me out for NYE plans. Whoa…I doubted it would go through but hey, I’m hopeful. We ended up going back to his place where I fell asleep on the couch. I woke up to my phone ringing at 5:00am from my sister telling me that she just had her baby. I left Chuck’s house early and drove to Wisconsin with my dad. In the middle of the day, I texted Chuck asking what time the party was so I could be back in time…..

Chuck: “Oh yeah, about that. I just found out my ex is going to be there, and it would be weird if you came. I just don’t want to put up with that drama.”

Me (internally): “Oh, fuck off.”

And that’s been that.

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ROBINSON: So, Robinson was traveling back to Ohio for the holidays and was taking the train. I worked at a train station at the time,  so he asked if we could meet up for a drink. As I waited for him at the bar, I was slightly nervous as we didn’t necessarily end on the best of terms. As he walked up, I forgot how hot he was…woof. We ended up joking around as usual and he bought us a round of beers. As we chatted, he told me that he hadn’t dated anyone since me and isn’t really looking to date…interesting. We texted a bit, but that was it.

Until recently, he texted me asking for weed. Yeah….I don’t smoke.

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HARDING: We still chat, yep. I’m going to Austin, where he lives, and will be spending a night with him. Holler! We will see how that goes 😀

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Until next time ❤

Hair Flickeroo

Now this story, you will get a kick out of. Alan (real name) is a guy I met on OKC recently who has a cute face and dimples (sucker.). He is well traveled and is in Chicago getting his teaching certificate to help teach English in Ecuador. I was kind of excited to meet him…until we exchanged numbers and started texting.

This fool should have a job in HR because all he does is ask probing, interview-like questions or make terrible assumptions. I couldn’t just make a statement without the fifth degree. I’m actually regretting deleting our text convo because I can’t remember all the stupid questions he asked. However, I do remember calling him out, “You ask a lot of clarifying questions.” His response, “well I was a journalist so I ask questions.” Are you investigating me? Calm down, child.

Amongst all the texting, we were planning our date. He said he wasn’t from here, so I took the lead in the logistics.
I first asked if he was a beer or cocktail person. “Beer, definitely beer. I love beer.”
Then I asked if he liked to play bar games (it states clear as day in my profile that I would love to play darts, shuffleboard, bags or board games with someone): “I hope you don’t plan on winning shuffleboard, I will kick your ass.”
So therefore I planned for us to go to FatPour on Division, great craft beers and then to The Boundary to play shuffleboard. I forgot that the Bears game was on, so I walked into a pretty crowded bar. Luckily, FP has an awesome upstairs bar with no one at it. As I sat down and chatted with the bartender, Alan creeped up behind me. He didn’t say hi, he just stood awkwardly that I felt his presence and immediately felt uncomfortable. Then after I was done chatting with the bartender, I turned and said, OH HEY! He just smiled and sat down. Maybe he was just nervous? Who knows. The bartender returned shortly and asked what we wanted. I ordered a Porter and he ordered a….CIDER. So much for being a huge beer fan? Now, maybe he just had a big meal or wanted it to go with the chilly fall weather? I was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt.

As we proceeded to chat, he is a mumbler. That doesn’t work for me because I’m half deaf and I make up words when I can’t hear yours, not good. He then proceeded to grab my thighs when talking to me or laughing…which would have been slightly endearing had he not been a creep who didn’t say hi earlier in the date. I had asked him a question about football, to which his response was to FLICK MY HAIR. Not like nicely move it aside, be pushed it like my hair was on fire and needed it away from my face immediately. How does one respond to such an action? I decided we needed a change of pace, stat. After we finished our drinks and halftime rolled around, we closed our tab and walked over to The Boundary. YES, SHUFFLEBOARD. I was hoping that this physical activity might make him come out of his shell more, or at the very least make things a little less awkward.

Welp, exactly the opposite happened.

We ordered drinks. Me: Titos soda with a lime. Alan: CHERRY CIDER. It’s a thing, ladies and gentlemen. I quickly grabbed the shuffleboard pucks and began set-up. All of a sudden, I hear a mumble…”can you remind me how to play again? how do you keep score? where do I stand? Where do I push them?” This is a joke right? You’re going to kick my ass at a game you’ve never played before?

So anyway, I teach him how to play and we begin the match. He is secretly laughing to himself and FLICKING MY HAIR STILL. Also, when it was my turn to push my puck…he didn’t move out of the way or give me room to play. I was so scared his boner bone was going to poke me out of no where. I also held onto my drink for dear life….no roofies for me. After two games, I was so uncomfortable that I used my lower back as an excuse to leave. I quickly gave him a thank you and a hug and peaced the EFF out of there.

He texted me once he got home asking if he could rub my back and help me feel better. No. Blocked, deleted. Death averted.

Blame Canada!

I totally forgot that I owe you a story about Canada. Mm..he is so sexy.

Canada’s name is Tanner (name changed). He is 36, tall, dark, handsome 🙂 We met over OKC, he messaged me and simply said, “Looking good, Chicago.” I was already smitten. I looked at his profile pics and responded with, “You’re not so bad yourself.”

Immediately, we started talking about geography because I didn’t understand how he was looking for me from Toronto. Shortly after, he asked if I wanted to iMessage and I happily handed over my phone number.

We chatted for about 2 months with lots of great sexting and half nude photos (no, I won’t do full nudies). Mmmmmm…yum. Until, I said…I have a free weekend in November and I found really cheap flights to Toronto. He told me not to buy the tickets because he didn’t know his work schedule and would get back to me. Well, he never got back to me about his schedule but would simply ask for more photos or more sexting. Noooooooope.

I told him this wouldn’t work if he didn’t ever want to meet or at least make plans. I know it’s a lot to ask of someone you’ve never met…but we can change that. And, if it gets weird…Toronto is a big city and I don’t mind self-exploring. We stopped talking for about a month until recently.

I found him on OKC again and messaged him asking how he was…other small talk bullshit. Then I finally said, I just wanted to let you know that I kind of miss talking with you. His response, “Aw, that’s nice.”

A Choker Necklace

Helloooooo ❤

Sorry I haven’t been updating…the dating life was slightly put on hold due to dieting/choosing a healthy lifestyle AND I stuck it out with Robinson (name changed). He has a great face, nice arms, tall, has a deep voice, laughs a lot, is smart, ambitious, works out, and has a plan to always be better. Sounds like a dream boat, right (toooot toooot)?

I should have know better.

Here is a recap of our dates and why things didn’t end up working out.

Date 1: As you may have read in my last post, we met at Bowtruss coffee early on a Saturday before I went to work. Here are a few details I left out: I walked into the coffeeshop and didn’t realize he was standing in front of me in line. We both ordered our coffee & sat down to chat. We realized we had a lot in common as we talked about how we are both ambitious people who appreciate the value of hardwork, and who came from broken families. One thing that kind of stuck out was that he said he doesn’t really like to go out or drink and I do. I like to hang out 🙂 At the end of the date, I realized that I wanted to see him again. I ended up texting him halfway through work and he said he was working out and looking to have a chill night. Then at the end of my work night, I texted him again and he was wastedddddd. So did he lie to me earlier, or was this just an accidental drunken night?

Date 5: White Sox game. We met up at a Roti for dinner, chatted a bit and then took the Red Line to The Cell. We walked straight to the Bullpen Bar and sat outside on their patio. We got a couple of beers and chatted it up some more. He got a little drunk and kept telling me (in a Borat voice) how much he liked me among telling me about his sexual BDSM preferences.

That got old real fast.

Date something after 5: We bought tickets to a rooftop to watch the Cubs NLDS game 4 in Wrigleyville. [W]. We were bathing in gluttony when all of a sudden, homeboy got drunk because he didn’t eat all day. POOR decisions, bro. We ended up not being able to celebrate post game because he wanted to go home. This is the night where things especially got weird.

We got a little frisky in bed and he was like a freaking jackhammer. This may be TMI, but i enjoy when we warm up to sex and then start slow leading up to the passionate hip-thrusting. Apparently homeboy had no sense of awareness because I was pushing him away and telling him to slow down…nothing changed his pace…then he proceeded to try and CHOKE ME. WTF! I quickly pushed his hand away and somehowwwww, some way, his other hand ended up right back at my neck again. I yelled, FUCK NO, you’re not going to choke me. He laughed, and I started crying. Yeah, I know. I was that girl.

Why the HELL would you think it’s ok to choke someone the first time you have sex???

1. We are just getting to know each other in that way.
2. You’re significantly bigger than me and you work out (nice arms, remember). If you slip or don’t realize your strength AND you’ve been drinking…yeahh….
3. What.The.Fuck.

That wasn’t even the icing on the cake. He gets off me, asks if I’m ok then says (and I quote), “Greaaatt, now I have blue balls. Thanks a lot.”

However, being the ridiculous person I am…I still stuck it out. We ended up having decent sex the next morning. Afterwards, all he talked about was how he’s never had to take it slow with any girl? Why is that information you think I would want to know? I don’t give two shits about these other broads, this is a sexual situation between you and me, bro. (He was such a bro that as I’m typing this, I’m deeming it necessary to dumb down my sentences by ending them all with ,BRO. I apologize in advance.) Then, we went to brunch and said goodbye.

We later had plans that upcoming weekend to go to a pumpkin patch because he said he wanted to take me on a proper date. I love October and pumpkin patches and Fall, so needless to say…I was pretty pumped about this date! That is, until the Friday before he calls me to say that instead of our date, he would like to go watch the Ohio State game? Ok, I wasn’t upset because I understand how big of a Buckeyes fan he is but being a planner…I was slightly irritated. However, since he took the time to tell me his wishes, I basically game him a ‘get out of jail free card.’ I told him that if he wanted to watch the OSU game instead of our planned agenda to let me know now and we would reschedule. He started to vacillate back and forth saying that he would make a gametime decision on Saturday. No no, momma don’t play that game, bro. Then I started to get upset. You want to cancel on our plans, but then you don’t? Then you claim you’re spontaneous and want to make a decision when you think the decision needs to be made. Nope.

That is when I decided it was game over.

Robinson called me once on Saturday, and then texted me Sunday to say “hey I called you Saturday but you didn’t answer.” No shit, Sherlock. I responded to his text on Monday and said, I think we’d be great friends. He responded and said, “ok, are we still good to go on Halloween?” I responded, “Sure.” He never showed up for Halloween…no skin off my back.

Til next time,

Ketchup

Playing catch up, I’m so sorry I haven’t been posting.

+ Texas boy, Harding  and I have a nice long date in February when I head to Austin for one of my good friend’s birthdays. I’m curious to see how this turns out. We don’t chat nearly as often as we used to.

+ Chuck, yes…this mudderfudder still exists. We had some boring sex a couple of weeks ago and just two days ago, this bike ride-loving man got nailed by a woman’s car door. I randomly ran into him on the street yesterday and saw his zombie apocalypse leg. I freaking got butterflies….WHY CAN’T I GET OVER HIM. Someone smack me please.

+ New boy, Robinson has been peaking my interest lately. About a month ago, we went on our first date: coffee at Bowtruss. First off, Bowtruss is amazeballs. I was so impressed with their cold press and Ethopian blend. Our first date was good, I was on my way into work and only had about an hour and a half with him. We chatted about lots of topics and laughed. It was good. He is WAY cuter in person than in his Tinder photos.

2nd date: We met up at a beer festival and then went kareoking. He grabbed my hand to hold and we invited this old couple to hang out with us. Too bad that couple dipped on us hahahaha! They did ask if he was my husband, which was weird but kind of cute?

3rd date: I was told recently that my job most likely will be non-existent next year…so I decided that I wanted to go out and drink. He was so sweet and asked if I wanted to go have some drinks with him. We went to a bar with darts and played for shots. He sharked me twice but it was so much fun! Then he took out money to buy me a taco and rice and then I walked home. It was really nice that he took care of me like that.

4th date: I cancelled because I got really sick. We were supposed to go to Kuma’s and then to Galway Bay, which would have been a really fun night but I wasn’t feeling hot. He was graciously understanding and allowed me to be sick 🙂 He even said he would bring me some soup.

Real 4th date: White Sox game (boo). We got dinner first, chatted and then got into really deep conversation on our way to the sox game. It was crazy but we opened up about our sexual preferences and our families and history. It was weird because I felt comfortable talking to him, like he wasn’t going to judge me. We brought up relationship stuff, and here’s the thing — I hate who I have become when jumping into a relationship: insecure, worrisome, anxious, like I have something to lose already. I love who I am now — carefree, happy, and fun. I don’t want that to change. I know, I know, I have the power to step back and change those aspects of me…butttttttt, waaaaa…I’ve been hurt a lot and I allow it to keep happening.

Back to sexual preferences as well, this boy decided to tell me how much he likes BDSM and how he is a huge freak. He likes to use belts, and be choked, and grab girls by the waist and flip them around. I’m kind of scared to sleep with him…

Here’s the ironic catch to it all, I think he’s a little boring and his kisses aren’t very passionate. Maybe he’s just holding back but how do you even begin to have that conversation?

I guess we will see what happens.

Gosh, now I feel like I’m getting boring. The details aren’t really there, are they?

Back on Tinder

My dating life has been rather stale lately but my roommate, Greg (name changed), is just coming back to life!

He and his girlfriend of just over a year broke up this past weekend and he is back in the Tinder game. As I’ve mentioned previously, his game was to swipe right to everyone and then weed them out from the matches. His game cracks me up, but also makes me feel a bit more insecure about the conversations I have with my matches.

Girl: Wait, you read my profile? that wasn’t for you!
Greg: I lied, I didn’t. So you’re good.
Girl: Ok, Phew
Greg: Truth is, I think I accidentally swiped right.

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Greg: Hey girl, I’d give you the password to my wifi any day
Girl: Gimme
Greg: Well you gotta come over first damnit! Haha

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Greg: I’m going on a date tonight!
Me: Ooo, what’s her name?
Greg: I don’t know how to pronounce it. I like them brown chicks.

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Greg: I told someone today if she were a fruit, she’d be a fineapple
Me: That’s amazing.
Greg: No kidding

New Adventure

I’m embarking on a new life adventure today.

My friend Emily and I are starting the Beachbody Ultimate Reset, which is going to restart our bodies and clean us out. We are both pretty excited, but for the next three weeks my dating, social and work life is going to drastically alter. Since I work in special events, I am always going to networking or industry events which always  = food, booze and schmooze. I will not be able to partake in any of the food & booze, and I don’t have a strong enough will power to say no if it’s in front of me.

I am interested to see how this changes my dating life. So far, one guy Jordan, has made light of the situation and asked if I was going to take advantage of him because he would be drinking and I wouldn’t have any liquor in me.

I guess we will see what happens 🙂

Cross state lines

Happy Monday loves ❤

This past weekend I visited two dear friends in Houston. This trip has been planned for about 3 months and I had a wonderful time. I even went on a triple date on Saturday night!

Back story: About a month ago on Tinder, I was swiping right to everyone (thanks to my roommate’s grand idea) just to see who I got and then weeding it down from there. One guy, Harding (name changed) had started chatting with me. He isn’t particularly drop dead gorgeous, but he was actually really interesting to talk to. Turns out we had a lot in common with Disney, discussing feminism, Harry Potter, food and booze, so yay! After a bit of deeper conversation, he is from Austin, TX and was in Chicago to see friends. We tried to meet up once near my apartment but I ended up falling asleep.

Anyway, we kept texting after he left Chicago and I told him that I would be in Houston in August. Not looking at a map, or knowing how far Austin was he gave me suggestions on places to see. Then later, he asked if I had wanted to get dinner on Saturday night because he was going to be out in my direction any way. That’s sweet but I was only in town for two nights…and I wasn’t sure what my friends had planned. I asked them if they might be down for a double date? They said, of course! We would go get Mexican food then head over to Top Golf. Perfect. I told Harding and he was excited about it.

Finally, we solidified plans and he was going to be about 20 minutes late since his cousin lived farther away than he thought. Turns out, homeboy drove almost 3 hours just to see me (I didn’t know this until the end of the night). Back to the date night.

Saturday rolls around and I confirmed plans with Harding regarding timing and places. He said he would text if he was running late, perfect. My friends and I went out for a delicious brunch and bloody mary’s. Then we went to this fancy outdoor mall and walked around for a bit. Finally, we went home and watched a movie. I ended up taking a quick cat nap and then waking up to learn how to use a golf club (I’ve never been and my buddy didn’t want me looking too foolish). I quickly got ready and we headed to the Mexican restaurant. My friends had some of their friends meet us as well. I told him to text me when he got here so I could meet him outside prior to introducing him to the troops. He walks in and is a little sweaty, I totally forgot that he rode his motorcycle all the way…shiz. However, he is a lot cuter in person….even though his chops were Wolverine style.

After introductions, we sat down and started chatting. I instantly felt a connection with him but was nervous and did my ‘look away, don’t maintain eye contact’ gig. We ate food (my taco’s were nasty…lame) then drove over to Top Golf. It was over a 2-hour wait, so we ended up going to a bar called Bareback. They had an open concept with picnic tables and TONS of lawn games. I was in love. They had bags, giant beer pong sans beer, horseshoes, shuffleboard, giant Jenga and darts. As we walked up to the bar, he asked if he could buy me a drink. Que cute!

We sat down and waited patiently to play bags. Since we had to win the board back, I just sat next to him and we chatted. We just had good conversation, it made me smile. Then we played bags and dominated 😀 He said I was hot for scoring most of the points. Hah, it’s my gameeeee.

Then we moved over to play giant Jenga and started some interesting bets. I ended up having to grab his ass and doing the chicken dance. We laughed a lot, which I enjoyed. Then we moved away from the group and just sat to talk. After awhile, our friends came back over and we started playing a small bout of footsie. How high school, but I didn’t mind. Finally, the boys went to close their tabs and my friend asked, “sooooo what’s next?” I said, I feel really bad if he has to drive back to Austin which is 3 hours away and it’s late. I like him, but I don’t want to do anything with him. She said, he’s a big boy…don’t feel pressured to do anything you don’t want to do. We walked outside, and towards his bike while my friends walked away. He asked what my next plan was, and I said I was going to go back with my friends because all my stuff is there and I had an early flight to catch the next day. He then walked in to kiss me and held me so tight. It felt good to be wanted like that, no implications of sex just a really good kiss.

I texted him on my way back to my friends house saying, you’re a really good kisser. He responded and said I could kiss you until the sun rises. Then he texted me when he got home and said he was still thinking about kissing me. I woke up through the night and kept thinking of him. I texted him and said, I hope you had a good time. Talk to you in the morning. Then I didn’t hear from him allll day. I texted him when I got back to Chicago around 3:30pm, and asked him if he was still sleeping? He said no, I’ve been playing games and doing laundry all day. That bummed me out. I didn’t hear anything more all day, and I wished him a good night. Then this morning, he just said, “I hope you had fun in Houston.”

…so did he want sex? I’m so confused. I thought there was more connection than that. I mean, I know he lives over 900 miles away and if anything moved beyond the point we are at now, it could get complicated. I guess I’m not one to push away opportunities for relationships because who knows what could happen? I never want to say, I wish I did _____.

Being the crazy girl that I am, I want to ask him wtf happened? Is that not ok? I’m really bad at this dating thing.

I just gotta shake it off.

Friend Friday

It’s been awhile since I’ve had a friend post on here, but one of my good girlfriends, Sheri had a pretty funny interaction on OkCupid.

Back story, Sheri is a confident as hell B who knows what she wants and knows how to work it on the dance floor. Basically she could have anyone she wanted (watch out!). Just jumping back on the OKC wagon, she has been getting a lot of inquiries about sex. After getting tired of the same questions about doin the dirty, she chose to have fun with one fella. Here is their conversation below (I would recommend peeing before you continue reading):

I told you so. I take no responsibility for needing new undies.