Guess who’s back..back again?

Shady’s back, tell yo fraaansssss.

I took a brief hiatus from the dating app world because I thought I found a couple of winners. Boy, was I wrong.

Dude 1: Candelabra (name changed) was quite a cutie, who is a chef, liked to laugh and was a little charmer. I was like…ehhh wtf, let’s play. When we met, I had just started a new job  and a week in, was feeling a little stressed. We had planned to meet on a Thursday but Monday rolled around and I thought, let’s see if he might be down for a drink. HE WAS (YAASSS!). We chose a bar near me, Blue Line, and as soon as I walked in I knew he would be trouble…good or bad, that was still tbd.

As I sat down at the bar, I had noticed that there was a shot glass in front of him. I thought mayyybee it could be a leftover from the previous patron but my gut was telling me he needed it to calm him nerves. Whatever, sometimes I take a quick drink at home before a date. I looked past it and tried to find out more about him.

—-I should probably precursor this date a little bit, since we matched on Tinder, he could see our mutual friends. Homeboy is mutual friends with one of my closest friends’ sister, Furfur (name changed). I asked how they knew each other and he said they were “tight butthole” (whatever the fuck that means), and that they knew each other from way back. He apparently helped her purchase special beer for her boyfriend because the bf is a big craft beer fan. Candelabra also said he talked to Furfur on a regular basis. I immediately felt at ease because I knew I could ask my friend or Furfur about him later. We also had two other mutual friends, both sorority Sisters. This will be important later—-

As we sat there, all he kept talking about were the chefs and restaurant managers he was friends with. Impressive on a first date with me because let’s face it, I’M A FAT KID and food is definitely the way to my heart. After a couple of drinks, he took me to Furious Spoon where he knew the chef. We got some free noodles and ONE free beer (because he only got himself one), and then he ended up splitting it with me. I was kind of a bit weary at this point, don’t ask me why. Then we went to a couple more bars, drank, laughed, and got a littleeeee tipsy!

Then he walked me halfway home, and I jumped on him and kissed him. Kiss was meh, but that was fun. We ended up talking everyday for awhile until I asked him about Furfur again, and his story had changed. Now he had only met her once and they only talked a few times. Now, I bet you’re wondering if I asked Furfur about Candelabra.

 

Furfur said that he found her on LinkedIn, chatted on there a bit. She did ask him about beers for her boyfriend. He then friended her on Facebook and they have been friends ever since. They have NEVER met. She also says he has yellow fever….great. I hate that.

I confronted him again about it after hearing this side of the story and he changed his story a third time. “Oh yeah, we met on LinkedIn…or Facebook. I cant remember.” So of course I asked him how he knew my two Sorority Sisters. Apparently one, named Brown went to college with him (I don’t know if this is true or not, but Candelabra referenced her current boyfriend by full name, info that is not accessible on social media) and the other, named Shoey, said, “because he was mutual friends with Brown, I thought he was a friend of the sorority so I just accepted him. We’ve never talked, and never met.” When I asked Candelabra about Shoey, he said he met her on a college campus and they became friends……This is all getting really really shady.

On to date number 3: homeboy invited me over for some homecooked scallops. Score! I had just come over after a networking event where I was a liiitttllle drunk, and told him I was having fun with him (lies). He then started talking about eggs (because he couldn’t ever let the topic be about us or me), and how you’re supposed to add water to scrambled eggs if you want them fluffier. Cool story, bro. I already knew that. Upon me telling him that I knew about the fluffy egg trick, he grabbed a banana and said, “I know this is normally a 3 month salary but this is all I have….[got down on one knee] will you marry me?”

That’s a joke right? NOPE. He legit wanted to marry me. On numerous times (the month that we dated), he brought up marriage. Oh, and he offered me keys to his apartment. Dude, I DON’T EVEN KNOW YOUR MIDDLE NAME.

Part of me wishes this was just some made up story to entice you to come back and read about my satirical life, but this is real life folks.

I’m going to fast forward to three more important parts to why this wouldn’t have worked out. I realize that I should have run far, far away after the above happened but I am what you call an “emotional cutter,” where you enjoy opening emotional wounds to feel or deal with odd pain? I kind of like drama.

1/3: My birthday rolled around. I went out to dinner with my family and two of my best friends.Candelabra asked what time I was going to be done with dinner, and I said probably around 9-ish, but don’t wait for me. I will text you when I’m close to being done and we can meet up! No joke, 9:01p rolls around and homeboy is texting me asking where I am. DINNER, you douche. I wasn’t even looking at my phone, I was just enjoying my birthday dinner and then responded when I could. It turns out that he was waiting at a bar near my apartment for me. I finally stroll up to the bar at 10-10:15 and the first thing he says to me is, “there’s a group of bikers that wanted me to go with them but I said no because I said I would meet you here.” Joke? Nah. So I responded with, “you legit were considering leaving me for a group of bikers? Man, you should go then.” He laughed, and chucked…nah, I choose you. He was kind of drunk. So again, I asked him how he knew Shoey, and he finally said, he saw her on campus once, memorized her face and found her on Facebook (creepyyy). I was done, if he lies about how he knows people…what the hell else is he lying about? I walked outside, said I couldn’t do this anymore and walked away. About 3 minutes later, I hear heavyyyyy footsteps. Ugh, what?

2/3: He ran up to me with clunky, dramatic footsteps and out of breath said…”I….never…run…after….any….one.” Apparently you never run, at all. You’re out of breath with a 20 meter run…good lawd. “Can…we…please…..gasp…make…this…work. I just…..want…one….more…chance.” UGH, FINE. ONE MORE CHANCE. The next morning, I told him to leave and never talked to him again.

3/3: Sex. Yes, we had it…sort of. We were laying in his bed, and things started to get a little heated. We finally go to have sex, insert dick, and he just stopped. Started looking around and then laid on top of me. I asked if he came, and he said no. Then he pulled out, walked away…and I was like…WTF. That’s gotta make you feel insecure right? Apparently, he was thinking about his DUI while we were having sex.

There’s so many more stories, but I think this sufficiently explains why I decided to be get off the apps and be single for awhile.

Next up: Dude 2.

Stay tuned, dudes and dudettes ❤

Hair Flickeroo

Now this story, you will get a kick out of. Alan (real name) is a guy I met on OKC recently who has a cute face and dimples (sucker.). He is well traveled and is in Chicago getting his teaching certificate to help teach English in Ecuador. I was kind of excited to meet him…until we exchanged numbers and started texting.

This fool should have a job in HR because all he does is ask probing, interview-like questions or make terrible assumptions. I couldn’t just make a statement without the fifth degree. I’m actually regretting deleting our text convo because I can’t remember all the stupid questions he asked. However, I do remember calling him out, “You ask a lot of clarifying questions.” His response, “well I was a journalist so I ask questions.” Are you investigating me? Calm down, child.

Amongst all the texting, we were planning our date. He said he wasn’t from here, so I took the lead in the logistics.
I first asked if he was a beer or cocktail person. “Beer, definitely beer. I love beer.”
Then I asked if he liked to play bar games (it states clear as day in my profile that I would love to play darts, shuffleboard, bags or board games with someone): “I hope you don’t plan on winning shuffleboard, I will kick your ass.”
So therefore I planned for us to go to FatPour on Division, great craft beers and then to The Boundary to play shuffleboard. I forgot that the Bears game was on, so I walked into a pretty crowded bar. Luckily, FP has an awesome upstairs bar with no one at it. As I sat down and chatted with the bartender, Alan creeped up behind me. He didn’t say hi, he just stood awkwardly that I felt his presence and immediately felt uncomfortable. Then after I was done chatting with the bartender, I turned and said, OH HEY! He just smiled and sat down. Maybe he was just nervous? Who knows. The bartender returned shortly and asked what we wanted. I ordered a Porter and he ordered a….CIDER. So much for being a huge beer fan? Now, maybe he just had a big meal or wanted it to go with the chilly fall weather? I was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt.

As we proceeded to chat, he is a mumbler. That doesn’t work for me because I’m half deaf and I make up words when I can’t hear yours, not good. He then proceeded to grab my thighs when talking to me or laughing…which would have been slightly endearing had he not been a creep who didn’t say hi earlier in the date. I had asked him a question about football, to which his response was to FLICK MY HAIR. Not like nicely move it aside, be pushed it like my hair was on fire and needed it away from my face immediately. How does one respond to such an action? I decided we needed a change of pace, stat. After we finished our drinks and halftime rolled around, we closed our tab and walked over to The Boundary. YES, SHUFFLEBOARD. I was hoping that this physical activity might make him come out of his shell more, or at the very least make things a little less awkward.

Welp, exactly the opposite happened.

We ordered drinks. Me: Titos soda with a lime. Alan: CHERRY CIDER. It’s a thing, ladies and gentlemen. I quickly grabbed the shuffleboard pucks and began set-up. All of a sudden, I hear a mumble…”can you remind me how to play again? how do you keep score? where do I stand? Where do I push them?” This is a joke right? You’re going to kick my ass at a game you’ve never played before?

So anyway, I teach him how to play and we begin the match. He is secretly laughing to himself and FLICKING MY HAIR STILL. Also, when it was my turn to push my puck…he didn’t move out of the way or give me room to play. I was so scared his boner bone was going to poke me out of no where. I also held onto my drink for dear life….no roofies for me. After two games, I was so uncomfortable that I used my lower back as an excuse to leave. I quickly gave him a thank you and a hug and peaced the EFF out of there.

He texted me once he got home asking if he could rub my back and help me feel better. No. Blocked, deleted. Death averted.

Blame Canada!

I totally forgot that I owe you a story about Canada. Mm..he is so sexy.

Canada’s name is Tanner (name changed). He is 36, tall, dark, handsome 🙂 We met over OKC, he messaged me and simply said, “Looking good, Chicago.” I was already smitten. I looked at his profile pics and responded with, “You’re not so bad yourself.”

Immediately, we started talking about geography because I didn’t understand how he was looking for me from Toronto. Shortly after, he asked if I wanted to iMessage and I happily handed over my phone number.

We chatted for about 2 months with lots of great sexting and half nude photos (no, I won’t do full nudies). Mmmmmm…yum. Until, I said…I have a free weekend in November and I found really cheap flights to Toronto. He told me not to buy the tickets because he didn’t know his work schedule and would get back to me. Well, he never got back to me about his schedule but would simply ask for more photos or more sexting. Noooooooope.

I told him this wouldn’t work if he didn’t ever want to meet or at least make plans. I know it’s a lot to ask of someone you’ve never met…but we can change that. And, if it gets weird…Toronto is a big city and I don’t mind self-exploring. We stopped talking for about a month until recently.

I found him on OKC again and messaged him asking how he was…other small talk bullshit. Then I finally said, I just wanted to let you know that I kind of miss talking with you. His response, “Aw, that’s nice.”

A Choker Necklace

Helloooooo ❤

Sorry I haven’t been updating…the dating life was slightly put on hold due to dieting/choosing a healthy lifestyle AND I stuck it out with Robinson (name changed). He has a great face, nice arms, tall, has a deep voice, laughs a lot, is smart, ambitious, works out, and has a plan to always be better. Sounds like a dream boat, right (toooot toooot)?

I should have know better.

Here is a recap of our dates and why things didn’t end up working out.

Date 1: As you may have read in my last post, we met at Bowtruss coffee early on a Saturday before I went to work. Here are a few details I left out: I walked into the coffeeshop and didn’t realize he was standing in front of me in line. We both ordered our coffee & sat down to chat. We realized we had a lot in common as we talked about how we are both ambitious people who appreciate the value of hardwork, and who came from broken families. One thing that kind of stuck out was that he said he doesn’t really like to go out or drink and I do. I like to hang out 🙂 At the end of the date, I realized that I wanted to see him again. I ended up texting him halfway through work and he said he was working out and looking to have a chill night. Then at the end of my work night, I texted him again and he was wastedddddd. So did he lie to me earlier, or was this just an accidental drunken night?

Date 5: White Sox game. We met up at a Roti for dinner, chatted a bit and then took the Red Line to The Cell. We walked straight to the Bullpen Bar and sat outside on their patio. We got a couple of beers and chatted it up some more. He got a little drunk and kept telling me (in a Borat voice) how much he liked me among telling me about his sexual BDSM preferences.

That got old real fast.

Date something after 5: We bought tickets to a rooftop to watch the Cubs NLDS game 4 in Wrigleyville. [W]. We were bathing in gluttony when all of a sudden, homeboy got drunk because he didn’t eat all day. POOR decisions, bro. We ended up not being able to celebrate post game because he wanted to go home. This is the night where things especially got weird.

We got a little frisky in bed and he was like a freaking jackhammer. This may be TMI, but i enjoy when we warm up to sex and then start slow leading up to the passionate hip-thrusting. Apparently homeboy had no sense of awareness because I was pushing him away and telling him to slow down…nothing changed his pace…then he proceeded to try and CHOKE ME. WTF! I quickly pushed his hand away and somehowwwww, some way, his other hand ended up right back at my neck again. I yelled, FUCK NO, you’re not going to choke me. He laughed, and I started crying. Yeah, I know. I was that girl.

Why the HELL would you think it’s ok to choke someone the first time you have sex???

1. We are just getting to know each other in that way.
2. You’re significantly bigger than me and you work out (nice arms, remember). If you slip or don’t realize your strength AND you’ve been drinking…yeahh….
3. What.The.Fuck.

That wasn’t even the icing on the cake. He gets off me, asks if I’m ok then says (and I quote), “Greaaatt, now I have blue balls. Thanks a lot.”

However, being the ridiculous person I am…I still stuck it out. We ended up having decent sex the next morning. Afterwards, all he talked about was how he’s never had to take it slow with any girl? Why is that information you think I would want to know? I don’t give two shits about these other broads, this is a sexual situation between you and me, bro. (He was such a bro that as I’m typing this, I’m deeming it necessary to dumb down my sentences by ending them all with ,BRO. I apologize in advance.) Then, we went to brunch and said goodbye.

We later had plans that upcoming weekend to go to a pumpkin patch because he said he wanted to take me on a proper date. I love October and pumpkin patches and Fall, so needless to say…I was pretty pumped about this date! That is, until the Friday before he calls me to say that instead of our date, he would like to go watch the Ohio State game? Ok, I wasn’t upset because I understand how big of a Buckeyes fan he is but being a planner…I was slightly irritated. However, since he took the time to tell me his wishes, I basically game him a ‘get out of jail free card.’ I told him that if he wanted to watch the OSU game instead of our planned agenda to let me know now and we would reschedule. He started to vacillate back and forth saying that he would make a gametime decision on Saturday. No no, momma don’t play that game, bro. Then I started to get upset. You want to cancel on our plans, but then you don’t? Then you claim you’re spontaneous and want to make a decision when you think the decision needs to be made. Nope.

That is when I decided it was game over.

Robinson called me once on Saturday, and then texted me Sunday to say “hey I called you Saturday but you didn’t answer.” No shit, Sherlock. I responded to his text on Monday and said, I think we’d be great friends. He responded and said, “ok, are we still good to go on Halloween?” I responded, “Sure.” He never showed up for Halloween…no skin off my back.

Til next time,

Ketchup

Playing catch up, I’m so sorry I haven’t been posting.

+ Texas boy, Harding  and I have a nice long date in February when I head to Austin for one of my good friend’s birthdays. I’m curious to see how this turns out. We don’t chat nearly as often as we used to.

+ Chuck, yes…this mudderfudder still exists. We had some boring sex a couple of weeks ago and just two days ago, this bike ride-loving man got nailed by a woman’s car door. I randomly ran into him on the street yesterday and saw his zombie apocalypse leg. I freaking got butterflies….WHY CAN’T I GET OVER HIM. Someone smack me please.

+ New boy, Robinson has been peaking my interest lately. About a month ago, we went on our first date: coffee at Bowtruss. First off, Bowtruss is amazeballs. I was so impressed with their cold press and Ethopian blend. Our first date was good, I was on my way into work and only had about an hour and a half with him. We chatted about lots of topics and laughed. It was good. He is WAY cuter in person than in his Tinder photos.

2nd date: We met up at a beer festival and then went kareoking. He grabbed my hand to hold and we invited this old couple to hang out with us. Too bad that couple dipped on us hahahaha! They did ask if he was my husband, which was weird but kind of cute?

3rd date: I was told recently that my job most likely will be non-existent next year…so I decided that I wanted to go out and drink. He was so sweet and asked if I wanted to go have some drinks with him. We went to a bar with darts and played for shots. He sharked me twice but it was so much fun! Then he took out money to buy me a taco and rice and then I walked home. It was really nice that he took care of me like that.

4th date: I cancelled because I got really sick. We were supposed to go to Kuma’s and then to Galway Bay, which would have been a really fun night but I wasn’t feeling hot. He was graciously understanding and allowed me to be sick 🙂 He even said he would bring me some soup.

Real 4th date: White Sox game (boo). We got dinner first, chatted and then got into really deep conversation on our way to the sox game. It was crazy but we opened up about our sexual preferences and our families and history. It was weird because I felt comfortable talking to him, like he wasn’t going to judge me. We brought up relationship stuff, and here’s the thing — I hate who I have become when jumping into a relationship: insecure, worrisome, anxious, like I have something to lose already. I love who I am now — carefree, happy, and fun. I don’t want that to change. I know, I know, I have the power to step back and change those aspects of me…butttttttt, waaaaa…I’ve been hurt a lot and I allow it to keep happening.

Back to sexual preferences as well, this boy decided to tell me how much he likes BDSM and how he is a huge freak. He likes to use belts, and be choked, and grab girls by the waist and flip them around. I’m kind of scared to sleep with him…

Here’s the ironic catch to it all, I think he’s a little boring and his kisses aren’t very passionate. Maybe he’s just holding back but how do you even begin to have that conversation?

I guess we will see what happens.

Gosh, now I feel like I’m getting boring. The details aren’t really there, are they?

New Adventure

I’m embarking on a new life adventure today.

My friend Emily and I are starting the Beachbody Ultimate Reset, which is going to restart our bodies and clean us out. We are both pretty excited, but for the next three weeks my dating, social and work life is going to drastically alter. Since I work in special events, I am always going to networking or industry events which always  = food, booze and schmooze. I will not be able to partake in any of the food & booze, and I don’t have a strong enough will power to say no if it’s in front of me.

I am interested to see how this changes my dating life. So far, one guy Jordan, has made light of the situation and asked if I was going to take advantage of him because he would be drinking and I wouldn’t have any liquor in me.

I guess we will see what happens 🙂

Thoughtful Thursday

One boy on Tinder had this thoughtful quote in his profile, which I loved, Where you invest your love, you invest your life. I think that is completely true because when you love your work, your friends, you family, your pets, your clothes, your home, your significant other you put your life into those things and those things, in turn, define your life.

Here are some inspirational words to get you to, hopefully, your second to last day of work ❤

Cheers and Happy Thursday!

Mr. Clean

So Monday, I went on a date with Mr. Clean…or Sue Sylvester (see below.) We will call him Piper, name changed.

Piper and I met on OkCupid, and he wasn’t particularly outstanding looking but his personality in his profile was pretty funny so we started chatting. Turns out we are the same age but he graduated from Iowa two years late (I find out why on our date). We had chatted about how we like to travel, and drink, and eat, and yeahhhh, the conversation was pretty good. He then asked if I wanted to meet this past Monday but I had previous obligations so I suggested going to get a drink at Mercadito and then watching Assassination Theater (about JFK’s real shooter). The upside to these suggestions? I was able to get us both in for free – yay! A week had passed by and we connected via snapchat. We barely talked, but in all honesty, I didn’t really notice.

Monday arrives and Piper checks in super early with me: “we still on for tonight?” “yes! aren’t you excited?” “absolutely!” We texted a bit during the day about work and finally 4:30p rolls around. We both get off at 5 and were going to meet at Mercadito. I found out he works about 2 blocks away so I asked him to wait for me and we could walk together. I walked up to him and realized that he was a lot cuter in person that in photos. Win. We started walking towards Mercadito and we chatted about our weekends, and upcoming travels. We also started talking about how neither of us could date anyone that didn’t drink. Then he brings up a snapchat I posted, of Naughty by Nature (Side note: as I’ve said before, I work in the events industry so I get spoiled with events full of free food and booze…then I snapchat the crap out if it because I love snapchat and it’s fun). He said he was jealous and didn’t realize how lavish my life is….I wouldn’t say that but heyyyy sounds good!

We finally arrive to Mercadito, I check in and we get our free drinks. We ended up talking more and then walked over to the show. I would be lying if I said I didn’t fall asleep during the show….it’s not that it’s boring but I am so exhausted from going all the time that I finally got some downtime + a smidge of booze. Sleepy me commenced! At intermission I asked if he wanted to get food, and he said yes. We walked over to Blackfinn (an Ameripub) and trivia was starting! YES! We ordered food and started playing trivia. He kept making these little flirty, sly comments which really irritated me then turned me on to him. Then all of a sudden, he decided to tell me a story during trivia questions….bad timing bro. Quick flip of the switch, he said that I haven’t been interested in him all night, and he could tell. I am only interested in drinking and don’t have anything wise or philosophical to discuss. Oh and he kept talking about all these dates he went on with chicks…cool story bro. I dunngivafck.

He then proceeds to ask me if I’ve ever been walked out on. Nope.
Have you ever walked out on a date? Nope.
So I have to ask…are you planning on walking out on me? He says, nooo noooo nooo, not at all. I’ve just never had a girl be so bored or uninterested in me. Pfft.

Then we fight some more, he says that his time is an nonrenewable resource and he hates wasting it. I asked him why he hadn’t left yet then? VERBATIM: “because I haven’t gotten the damn waitresses attention yet.” She comes over with the check, he says he’s not going to make me pay like the other douche…and I’m already thinking that he doesn’t deserve to pay for my meal. I bust out my card, pay and deuces. It was pouring rain, but I’d rather walk in the rain then talk to that douche of a sandwich ever again.

Woof.

Chucking Chuck

Whenever I get drunk, I find myself lusting after Chuck . 

Pros:
Funny, can be a gentleman, good in bed, hot ass arms, bubble butt, nerdy, can hold his drinks, and thinks I’m funny and attractive. Oh and I like that he pays for my drinks.

Cons:
Never calls or texts back (but checks my snapchats), non-committal, ran away from me one date and ditched me another, drinks a TON.

Welp, last Thursday I just Snapchatted him and asked if he wanted to get a drink? He said sure! (Whoa.) This is after 2 months of me asking to hang out and never getting a response. Then I started to get hesitant….why now? Wtf. I went anyway but was casually late. He texted asking where I was, that was nice. Then he paid for my drinks. We had a good time laughing and I busted out my feisty side because 1. I’m annoyed that I still have feelings for him and 2. he’s a dick that deserves it. He called me out, but I kept on. When we were sitting inside the bar, he would touch my leg and rub my back. I didn’t give in, I just let him but didn’t reciprocate. Finally, we went outside for a smoke and got to talking. He told me he was in a six year relationship with a crazy Asian broad who lied to his family about him hitting her and stuff…woof. I couldn’t believe he was in a six year relationship, he’s terrible at this game. I jokingly asked if that’s why he avoids me and he says, yeah I’m scared. Truth be told, he still checks up on her. I’m pretty sure she is the love of his life. As we were talking about crazy Asian’s new marriage, he pulled me in for a kiss. Fuuugggg, I forgot how good of a kisser he is. That’s all it took, I was smitten again. When we went back inside I was scratching his head, and rubbing his back. Ugh, writing this makes me want to vomit a little. He finally said, do you want to go back to your place or mine? I said probably his because my roommate was home (side note, I wore matching panties and bra :)) He ordered me an Uber and rode his bike back. Since I beat him back, I just sat outside of his place and waited for him to arrive. He held his hand out and picked me up. We got back up to his place and sat on his couch to watch Louis CK. Of course we started kissing and one thing led to another, and well…I’ll let your imagination take the next steps. However….I was severely let down. What happened? Was it him or me? Waaaa.

He was getting hungry and decided to ride down to the taco place to get us some food. I accidentally passed out on the couch and missed his cute text of “I just ordered the food, I’ll be back soon.” He came back, we maxed out on Mexican food and then went to bed. Hello round 2 – let’s see if we can do this again.

NOPE. This time, it hurt like a b. He gave zero facks about me too. I kept saying “be nice,” or “slow down,” and he just kept going like Seabiscuit. I finally gave up because I was in so much pain and went to get my clothes. He asked me to stay but I said I can’t…it’s 4am and I need to sleep and work out in the morning. I took an Uber home, showered and PTFO.

The next day I texted him asking if we could try again and he said something along the lines of “why?” I said because it hurt and I want good sex. We chatted for a bit more and then he dropped the ol “I gotta get back to work” line. BS, but alright.

This past weekend, my family and I went to the Wisconsin Dells for a quick little family vacation. One night, my sister and I caught part of He’s Just Not that Into You  and that’s is when it hit me….HE’S NOT INTO ME. When we first started talking, he would text consistently and let me know he was disappearing for a bit, or heading back to work and now I’m lucky if I hear anything back. That was it, I’m CHUCKING CHUCK.

Untill….Sunday. We went to the Timbavati Park to check out the petting zoo and the cool animals. I went Snapchat crazy and I won’t lie, I was on my Snapchat game. Chuck thought I was being hilarious so he was watching all my snaps and responding to me. WTF.

So when I got home Sunday night, I texted him asking him to come over. My roommate wasn’t home and I wanted to hang (-h + b). Par for the course, no response. So I sent out more snaps, purposely including him, and I saw him open them.

I really need to get rid of him. Is it that I can’t figure him out so I feel the need to? Or whaaaaatttt is it..keep in mind there are boys that do like me and want to talk but I’m bored or over it. Maybe I just like a little bit of drama? -__- I need to remind myself, that he will never be that person for me. He will never love me or care for me the way I need him to. He doesn’t want to be that person for me so why am I allowing him to feel more important than he deserves.

Catfishing

Am I being catfished?

This boy, Vegas, is pretty attractive with his high jaw-line and rugged appearance. He’s 30, is a self-booking model, and decently smart. We started chatting on OkCupid and he said he’s not ready to text, but wants to email. Ok….I feel like email has a little more personal info because it’s typically your name….but what do I know.

Off the bat, he asks a ton of questions:
1. What do you look for in a guy?
2. Do you work or go to school? If you read my profile…it clearly states what I do. This only irritates me because later I ask him what he does and he says, “I model of course.” That rubbed me the wrong way, so I retort with, “why did you say of course?” He said, because I thought you read my profile. Pretty sure you didn’t even read mine, why would you assume I would read yours?
3. What are some of your favorite movies?
4. What do you do for fun?
5. How long have you been on OKC?
6. What kind of music do you like?

He then disappears for two hours, and comes back with this gem: I like rock and metal music most of all. Why do you have to be so pretty? You gotta give the rest of these girls a chance! LOL But I do think you are a cutie!
Me: Haha that’s ridiculous. There are plenty of hot chicks out there but thanks 🙂 What about you mr. model?
Vegas: I am an honest guy and I gotta say I would not mind seeing more pictures of you, not to be a creep or anything. I guess if a guy asks to see more pics of you, I guess he is interested in you. No text though, not ready to give it out yet. Plus I turned off the ability to send and receive pics. too much spam lol I don’t have kik or snapchat or anything like that, I am old school and hate trying to keep up with all social trends, it never ends LOL. I can give you my email, but yea I think you are pretty.

I can be naive at times, so I give him my email and send some photos of myself – nothing dirty. He replies with 5 SUPER model-esque photos, please see below. I get a little nervous because he’s pretty….and not saying that I’m ugly by any means but uhhh, the the french toast do you want with me?

I ask if he’s married or in a relationship, or if he has an Asian fetish. He laughs “loudly” – this HAHAHAHA and then proceeds to ask for “sexxay” photos. Hell no. I don’t play that game.

Ps. does anyone know who this model is?