Ketchup

Playing catch up, I’m so sorry I haven’t been posting.

+ Texas boy, Harding  and I have a nice long date in February when I head to Austin for one of my good friend’s birthdays. I’m curious to see how this turns out. We don’t chat nearly as often as we used to.

+ Chuck, yes…this mudderfudder still exists. We had some boring sex a couple of weeks ago and just two days ago, this bike ride-loving man got nailed by a woman’s car door. I randomly ran into him on the street yesterday and saw his zombie apocalypse leg. I freaking got butterflies….WHY CAN’T I GET OVER HIM. Someone smack me please.

+ New boy, Robinson has been peaking my interest lately. About a month ago, we went on our first date: coffee at Bowtruss. First off, Bowtruss is amazeballs. I was so impressed with their cold press and Ethopian blend. Our first date was good, I was on my way into work and only had about an hour and a half with him. We chatted about lots of topics and laughed. It was good. He is WAY cuter in person than in his Tinder photos.

2nd date: We met up at a beer festival and then went kareoking. He grabbed my hand to hold and we invited this old couple to hang out with us. Too bad that couple dipped on us hahahaha! They did ask if he was my husband, which was weird but kind of cute?

3rd date: I was told recently that my job most likely will be non-existent next year…so I decided that I wanted to go out and drink. He was so sweet and asked if I wanted to go have some drinks with him. We went to a bar with darts and played for shots. He sharked me twice but it was so much fun! Then he took out money to buy me a taco and rice and then I walked home. It was really nice that he took care of me like that.

4th date: I cancelled because I got really sick. We were supposed to go to Kuma’s and then to Galway Bay, which would have been a really fun night but I wasn’t feeling hot. He was graciously understanding and allowed me to be sick 🙂 He even said he would bring me some soup.

Real 4th date: White Sox game (boo). We got dinner first, chatted and then got into really deep conversation on our way to the sox game. It was crazy but we opened up about our sexual preferences and our families and history. It was weird because I felt comfortable talking to him, like he wasn’t going to judge me. We brought up relationship stuff, and here’s the thing — I hate who I have become when jumping into a relationship: insecure, worrisome, anxious, like I have something to lose already. I love who I am now — carefree, happy, and fun. I don’t want that to change. I know, I know, I have the power to step back and change those aspects of me…butttttttt, waaaaa…I’ve been hurt a lot and I allow it to keep happening.

Back to sexual preferences as well, this boy decided to tell me how much he likes BDSM and how he is a huge freak. He likes to use belts, and be choked, and grab girls by the waist and flip them around. I’m kind of scared to sleep with him…

Here’s the ironic catch to it all, I think he’s a little boring and his kisses aren’t very passionate. Maybe he’s just holding back but how do you even begin to have that conversation?

I guess we will see what happens.

Gosh, now I feel like I’m getting boring. The details aren’t really there, are they?

Updates

In case you were wondering where I stand with all the above dates:

Chuck is still in my phone, we text maybe once a week just to see what the other is up to. Boring.

Cute Groomsman The bride wrote me this amazing thank you email and said she was excited that I was dancing with one of the groomsmen. I told her that he disappeared after the wedding and she said, ohhh I’m not sure what happened. Meh.

Pickle We are still matched on Tinder, so I see his ‘moments’ which are like snapchats for Tinder. He took a photo of himself half naked and I was surprised at how good he looked under clothes.

Bono yeah, that shiz ended real quick.

Bill I stopped texting him for a few days and his first text to me “Ok really? What did I do?” I told him he was super full of himself and I felt like I would never be as important as he is to himself. He responded with, “is it bad that I think I’m good-looking and love my body?” I said no, but you’ve never told me that I’m good looking. Then he started talking about vacuuming….so there’s that. I still think he’s super hot.

Nixon I asked the groom for his number because I wanted to apologize, but the groom didn’t give it to me. I’m not sure what went down, but oops. I still feel kind of bad.

Cuban Nuffin Muffin.

Willy I accidentally got drunk and stood him up the other night. He called me yesterday to see what happened. SO serious….he still wants to hang out but I’m not sure I’m feeling it anymore.

Did I get hot? Maybe, but I haven’t heard from any of those boys since.

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Get a load of this guy: This guy named John (real name) hit me up on OkCupid. He’s a pretty good looking red-head who has a nice body. Here’s the thing, he knows it. We chatted for a bit on OKC and he quickly asked if we could Snapchat instead because he doesn’t use the OKC app as much. Sure, I could do that.

He sent a couple photos of himself, normal selfies. Then all of a sudden it’s him in the shower, at the gym, and they are getting obnoxious. So I joke around asking, selfie much? He got ALL DEFENSIVE like I called him fat or something. Like a broken record, he kept stating: “this weeds out the prudes and the people who don’t like to have fun.” Oh..ok…whatever.

THEN this dick proceeds to say “So are all Asians as prude as they seem?”

…Are you f&%^ing kidding me? Who the hell deemed you the king of defining what prude means, and how dare you generalize all Asians. You know nothing about me but think it appropriate to ask me that question as if I will succumb to your male chauvinistic attitude. My friend Annie (name changed) put it best: One: he will not be finding out any time soon. Two: the Kama Sutra is Asian. So, no. Three: creepers like him should be branded so the rest of us will know him before trying to talk to him.

His snapchat: LJohnL — branded.

Wedding Sandwich

Happy Monday ❤ I hope you all had a wonderful weekend.

I had the pleasure of being in a friend’s wedding on Friday along with five amazing gals AND six adorable groomsmen. How adorable do you ask? Well let’s just say two of them caught my eye –  Nixon and Cuban (names changed). Cuban was my aisle and grand entrance buddy and Nixon was the best man. Here is a little bit about them:

Nixon: 32, tall, dark, and handsome. He is like the boy-next-door. Great smile. He is literally 6’5″ or taller, people often mistake him for someone famous or a basketball player. In fact, sometimes when he walks around with Cuban (yup, they are friends and were roommates), they pretend that Nixon is someone famous by covering dramatically covering his face with his hands while Cuban says “no photos, please.” Hilarious! He lives in Florida and manages a grocery store. He is also at the tail-end of a divorce.

Cuban: 46, clean cut, kind and driven. Great smile too. Not as tall as Nixon, but is adventurous! He is from Florida as well, owns a house down there and rents it out (where he met the bride and groom years ago) but is moving to Denver this week. He works in software development. I learned later that he has two children, 24 and 20.

When I met the both of them at the rehearsal dinner, I was instantly drawn to Nixon  because he is very cute. He also is funny and sweet right off the bat. Cuban was really quiet and just joked around a bit, but only with the boys. In either case, I didn’t really give them much thought because of how my last wedding story went..I was just there to have a good time with the girls and the bride & groom. Later that night, the groom came back with us to chat for a bit and asked if I was dating again, and I said yes. It seemed slightly suspicious, but I just played dumb. At the wedding, he told me it was Nixon who was asking about me.

All day, I played coyly towards Nixon and was just there to do my bridesmaids duty. Finally, when we went out to take group photos – we all oddly bonded over the fact that we were all sweating balls because the only HOT day in Chicago this summer just had to be that day. That is when I saw the personality of Cuban really come out. He was so sweet, and asked questions about myself and my future. I love when people are actually interested in more than what I do and where I live. I kept getting mixed signals from him for the rest of the night, so I decided that it wasn’t worth looking into anymore until I was standing outside in the courtyard talking to some friends and he came running out to ask me to dance with him, a slow dance. What makes it even cuter is that the dance floor was on the second floor and he went to a locked door and knocked until he got my attention. He said I owed him at least one dance as this aisle partner in crime. Smitten Kitten.

He held me tight and was the perfect height for a slow dance. While we were dancing, I took notice that Nixon was dancing with all of the grandmas…freaking adorable. Now I didn’t know which one I wanted to flirt and dance the night away with. Fast forward an hour, my confidence sky rocketed with liquid luck and I asked one of the bridesmaids what I should do. She said, always go for the one you want more. Cuban.

He was outside smoking a Cuban cigar (haha no pun intended), so I asked him to follow me inside. I dragged him into this private area and just said how attracted I was to him. I don’t think I was asking for a relationship but implied that we should keep talking. This is how I vaguely remember the conversation going:
Me: I think you’re really cute, and I just wanted to let you know.
Cuban: I’m really flattered, but you’re closer in age to my children than to me.
Me: I don’t care, I don’t want kids anyway. Plus Demi Moore + Ashton Kutcher.
C: Yes, I’m really flattered again. But I just can’t.
M: Is it too weird?
C: Yes
M: Because of the age thing?
C: Yup. I’m seriously really flattered but I can’t. No hard feelings right?
M: (smile) Nah, we’re good. You’ll still teach me to snowboard?
C: Yes, come out to Denver anytime.

I was a little bummed, but I mostly noticed how he didn’t say anything about me being pretty or being attracted to me. Was I totally reading this wrong? Plus I saw him checking out other chicks my age…meh.

Since I couldn’t have him, I went directly for Nixon. I knew I could have him in a heartbeat. I probably shouldn’t have, but I was on a damn mission now. I started kissing him on the dance floor and then I pulled him into that same private room and we ended up having the sexy time. One of the hottest things was that because he was so tall, and strong, he just picked my ass up (like in Fast and the Furious – someone please find me this gif). No one has ever picked me up like that before. Mmm!!

Then I don’t remember anything but grabbing my panties, my suitcase and peacing out. I woke up with cheese in my bed, and naked. Good thing my roommate wasn’t home, because it was his cheese.

I asked the groom for Nixon’s number the next day and I saw that the groom read my text but hadn’t gotten back to me. I guess Nixon didn’t want me to have it – I hope things didn’t end too poorly. So I just asked the groom to tell Nixon that I was really sorry. I felt super dirty all weekend, like I shouldn’t have done that. I’m not sure why I was so gung-ho about finding someone to hook up with?

I promise I am classier than this. I need to calm my shiz down, or I need Chuck to man up and give me some good sex again. We randomly snapchat, or text but never seem to meet up. I’m pretty sure he’s done with me but I can’t seem to get over it.

Also, now that I no longer have access to anything related to my ex, I really am starting to miss her. I fucking hate that.